Dating Support Network

Is it just me, or is everyone confused about dating? What does “to date” even mean? Well, lucky for you, I looked it up. The dictionary defines the act of dating as:

Date: v. to go out on usually romantic dates.  15th Century.

Thanks Websters! That really clears it up… Websters also inexplicably includes a reference to the 15th Century. I believe that’s the time period when the word first came into use. Or by the looks of it, it could be when the definition was last updated. I also looked up some other words and phrases that are used today in the realm of “dating,” and here’s what I found…

See (as in “to see someone”): v. to keep company with especially in courtship or dating.  12th Century (I’m assuming the 12th Century reference has more to do with the actual eyeball than a vague dating reference).

Hang out: v. to protrude and droop. 14th Century (I guess Webster hasn’t yet realized that a phrase used to describe misaligned flaccid objects is now used to characterize some form of a relationship).

Hook up: v. to become associated especially in a working or social relationship. 1907 (Hahahaha! No tongue mentioned in this definition!).

F*^k Buddy: n. NON EXISTENT. Grandma’s wig might fly off if it did!

The point is, it’s clear the old-fashioned norms of “dating” no long exist. A new crop of vague statuses has emerged to describe what may or may not be happening in a relationship between two single people at any point in time. The one thing each of these statuses has in common – they mean you are not married.

So where does that leave today’s singletons? From the countless hours of pseudo-psychoanalytical sessions with friends – me playing doctor or patient, depending on what the situation calls for – I conclude it leaves us mostly in the dark. What’s funny to me is that “dating” or the various states of dating listed above continues to be portrayed as fun(!), exciting(!), and happy, happy, happy(!!!). But how can we use those words when everyone is in a constant state of confusion? Confusion is generally associated with anxiety, pain, and sadness. Something is not adding up here.

Maybe we should take a look back to the 15th Century. Wenches and swains (look it up!) may not have had the same choices we have today, but they knew where they stood in relationships.

This is the first of many posts that will attempt to unravel the web of dating confusion we live in today. Even if we can’t solve the equation, at least we can support each other along the way.

What are your definitions of dating? How do we bring clarity to our relationships? Share your thoughts and stories with the DSN!