Dating Support Network

“Where is he?!” It’s the piercing cry of frustration heard around the world. Millions of wonderful, talented, “total package” women are commiserating with their girlfriends about the elusive “Mr. Right,” even as we speak. Oh my ears!

What is most interesting about this cry is that if you lean in a little bit closer, you may actually hear a whisper of something very different. The real question that is being asked is “Where am I?”

I suspect the perpetual yearning for Mr. Right is really just a cover-up for insecurity and lack of self-awareness. The real Mr. Right may actually be directly under your nose (what about that nerdy guy in Accounting? Or the goofy dude you always see at Starbucks?), but the idea of Mr. Right is cock blocking him in a major way. Because you haven’t gone through the exercise of understanding the reality of who you truly are, you’re not open to exploring a very real relationship with someone who is less than perfect (too scary, right?). You still cling to the idea of the tall, handsome, dashing prince who is fated to come knocking on your door with Chinese food, flowers, and a Love Actually DVD (or some other chick flick – you get the drift).

It’s easy for us ladies to buy into the fantasy man bill of goods because as little girls we were never taught anything different. And as we age, how could we not be continually disappointed? He never shows up as we expect. And we are endlessly bombarded by TV and movies that are adult versions of the sticky sweet Disney fairytales of yore. Our self-esteem never really gets breathing room to bounce back.  It takes a strong lady to understand that the prince will not find the girl until she finds the princess inside herself first. Oh, that was deep, wasn’t it? And a little bit nauseating, but I kind of like it.

While we here at DSN are thoroughly and utterly confused about the state of single romantic life today, there is one thing we’re sure of. You need to get up off the couch, take off your zebra print Snuggie, brush your hair and actually talk to real men in the outside world. It’s important to do this with an honest understanding of who you are first and with an open heart. Where is “the one?” Look in the mirror. After you realize that, the real Mr. Right will have an easier time finding his way into your life.